Esmé Weijun Wang

Incorrigible aesthete. Language as backbone. Compassion through intimacy.

Journal

Incorrigible aesthete. Language as backbone. Compassion through intimacy.

I'm a writer, a photographer, and a blogger. I believe in sharing as a form of stigma reduction, and write about my experiences with mental illness online, specifically my life with Schizoaffective Disorder.

The Rainy Days Begin

The weather that I associate with San Francisco winters is upon us: white skies in the morning, giving way to gray in the early afternoon, and dusk descending earlier than I'm used to. Rain comes and goes. Daphne perches herself on the couch, cat-like, keeping watch with her scout kerchief on. We begin to use the heater, which gives off a dusty, comforting smell, and Chris and I go to our customary brunch spot on Saturday morning without Daph due to the rain, sometime around 7:30 AM; the place is full of old men wearing suspenders, tattooed, hunched over their coffees. I am literally the only female in the building who is not a waitress.

Today I am working on my book, polishing and sanding it all over, and H, who is reading it now (for the umpteenth time -- thank you, H), is going to Lapland in a few weeks to do research for her second novel. She will be staying with reindeer herders, seeing the Northern Lights, and living north of the Arctic Circle. What an adventure, I tell her.

Enjoy your Saturday, lovelies.

Hello. My name is Esmé, and I am a writer. (And a Gemini.)

But really, I'm a deep heartache made lyrical. A word-spined panther with shining eyes and a sleek silhouette. A fractured shaman.

I am amazing at loving deeply.

And I've devoted most of my life to sharing what it's like to have my kind of brain ailments with the ones who know, who understand -- as well as the ones who don't know, and are better because they do.

When you invite me into your life, you can expect to feel less alone. A joy at connection. Feeling beloved. And you'll probably be surprised and delighted by my silliness and goofy sense of humor. I like absurdity. I love to laugh so hard I cry.

My work matters because it alleviates the suffering caused by the fact that we are all separate human beings, in our separate bodies and minds.

I am here to remind you to please be kind. Because we all need love.

My question for you is: what is your great hurt?

In sum: I am not for the faint of heart. And neither are you, regardless of your wounds. Welcome.

this brief(ish) author bio was the result of playing with alexandra franzen's I AM worksheet, which you can download for free here, and which came from this post -- thanks, alx

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