Esmé Weijun Wang

Incorrigible aesthete. Language as backbone. Compassion through intimacy.

Journal

Incorrigible aesthete. Language as backbone. Compassion through intimacy.

I'm a writer, a photographer, and a blogger. I believe in sharing as a form of stigma reduction, and write about my experiences with mental illness online, specifically my life with Schizoaffective Disorder.

A Return to Words

I began writing again today. In the back of my mind is the idea that my physical ailments are because I have gone for so long without writing, which seems melodramatic, but I have been trying medications and poultices and acupuncture and herbal Eastern soups from pouches and a little electric machine that sends pulses through sticky pads, which my mother mailed to me from Taiwan, so why not try to write a new novel, or an essay about love and food, or more updates here. At least it makes me feel useful in the old, familiar way. So I will have to commit myself to learning how to use this dictation software in earnest, probably this weekend, as I still find myself having to correct every sentence, and I don't even know how to get it to recognize my name.

The red gorgeousness in the above picture, by the way, is a shawl I purchased from Tuhkimo Shawls on Etsy, which I highly recommend. I have been wearing it everywhere, and it honestly brings me a feeling of deep comfort. How amazing, to be able to make things like that.

Hello. My name is Esmé, and I am a writer. (And a Gemini.)

But really, I'm a deep heartache made lyrical. A word-spined panther with shining eyes and a sleek silhouette. A fractured shaman.

I am amazing at loving deeply.

And I've devoted most of my life to sharing what it's like to have my kind of brain ailments with the ones who know, who understand -- as well as the ones who don't know, and are better because they do.

When you invite me into your life, you can expect to feel less alone. A joy at connection. Feeling beloved. And you'll probably be surprised and delighted by my silliness and goofy sense of humor. I like absurdity. I love to laugh so hard I cry.

My work matters because it alleviates the suffering caused by the fact that we are all separate human beings, in our separate bodies and minds.

I am here to remind you to please be kind. Because we all need love.

My question for you is: what is your great hurt?

In sum: I am not for the faint of heart. And neither are you, regardless of your wounds. Welcome.

this brief(ish) author bio was the result of playing with alexandra franzen's I AM worksheet, which you can download for free here, and which came from this post -- thanks, alx

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