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  • Our little Daphne was once even littler.
  • Over the last few weeks, I had been so excited about what seemed like true remission—the feeling that I was somehow, miraculously, *completely* healthy again—but as the days wear on, I’m realizing that what I thought was true remission was my body going into Emergency Mode in order to be the best support I could be for @pchza while she was here. My body knew that it was important to be able to rise to the occasion, which is in itself an amazing thing. And I’m glad, honestly, that I didn’t talk about all of that publicly while it was going on (which was in part due to superstition) because now I’m back to my baseline symptoms. I can’t complain because my baseline symptoms are still so much more tolerable than they were even two years ago—but I would be lying if I said that I’m not mourning the change a bit. My “faux remission” was amazing while I got to experience it. & maybe, now that I know that my body remembers how to feel that way, I can hope for it to come again. (& prayers and good wishes for @pchza are still appreciated, as are donations to her fundraiser. ♡)
  • The grown dog in this photo is Flame (image taken by Blair Braverman, amazing writer & human)—Flame is a sled dog & the sled dog that I sponsor through Blair and her partner, Q. (Blair will be running the Iditarod next year!!!) Flame cannot have puppies of her own, but she loves puppies (& baby chicks); Aunt Flame is, these days, grooming and licking fellow sled dog Willow’s puppies, which are growing at a remarkable rate. & this photo brings me such joy—I identify with Flame as an aunt, & look at those puppy paws!
  • Doctors’ appointments never end, not even on the weekends! Here I am in the waiting room while @pchza is in the other room, getting physical therapy—I’m terribly grateful for this dress from @millayshop (on hiatus), which is my go-to thing to throw on right now. Happy Saturday, y’all.
  • Today was, @pchza & I agreed, the Friday that felt like a million days. I found this old photo of me from late 2013. I was devastatingly sick with what we would later find out was late-stage, CDC-quantifiable Lyme, wracked with psychosis from schizoaffective disorder, & barely holding on. I find it odd that I would, to most, “look good” in this photo when I was so sick. I was so hopeless. My marriage was suffering immensely because of my illnesses. I had lost a lot of weight. & the thing about illness & disability is that you don’t necessarily know when it will come to call. Okay. Time to go have dinner. (There by the grace of God go any of us.)
  • Schizophrenia is widely known as a terrible, terrifying thing. My wish for this book is that those who read it will find more nuance than that within its shadows. Here’s the cover for The Collected Schizophrenias, out Feb 2019 from @graywolfpress.
  • (Photo from January 2018) As many of you know, @pchza is one of my dearest friends, has been dealing with a severe Lyme flare—exacerbated by mold and lead exposure—for the last many months, and has been staying with Chris and me for the last few weeks while she gets medical treatment. She is, we hope, on the road to getting better, but has been very, very ill, is racking up enormous medical bills, and has not been able to work. Janice Lee (@diddioz) & I have set up a fundraiser—please, if you are able, visit http://bit.ly/porochista and donate, or share on your own networks if you aren’t able to donate yourself. This is a medical & life emergency (more details at the link), & Porochista, who has given so much to so many, needs help. #lymedisease #lymediseaseawareness #lymefighter
  • Lyme lessons: no matter how ill, the show goes on. @pchza told me a while ago that she’d be doing a photo shoot for a magazine cover & also needed a haircut, which is exhausting enough *without* being super sick. But she borrowed one of my dresses (seen here), got a cut with my favorite stylist & entered the world with her oxygen concentrator & emergency magnesium mix in tow. When she got back, I insisted on taking some pictures, & it’s amazing what you don’t see—anyway, shuffled in with the IVs and doctors’ appointments and excruciating pain and panic attacks are moments when we can look damn good in spite of it all.
  • Two beloved pals. Only one of them (@pchza!) is having a work day with me. ❤️🐶🐾

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